Hana & being a full time daddy!

Best Day Ever

So my beautiful daughter was born on the 5th of May 2013 in Portsmouth Hospital.  To be honest I was very nervous about this little one arriving in our lives.  I did not feel I was ready to be a father...I definitely did not believe I was in a financial position to have one.  Also knowing that I had recently had surgery to my femur and that I would be at home as the full time dad I was extremely apprehensive if I was even responsible enough.

So people always told me you will be a great dad. Never believed it. Nice compliments but just chit chat.  I looked at all my friends and none of them whom were male were a full time dad. All worked and all said how pleased they were to be working.... sounded like a lot of work having a kid if work was their safe haven?

Anyways... she arrived at a whopping 3.8kg and made my darling wife make sounds which only a demon could decrypt. I got to cut the umbilical chord and due to the fact mommy was in a bit of a mess.... say no more.... I managed to get hold of her straight away. I was the first to bond. Something strange happened. I cannot explain, describe or even entertain why but I fell in love instantly. It was like a switch. I have never experienced that. All my concerns went as if they never existed.  Over the next few paragraphs I am going to explain how things went over the next six months....

For the first month I felt completely and utterly bewildered by this little person next to me in bed. Her cot was pushed up against our bed and I held her hand every night as we fell asleep.  Everyone said how exhausting it is. I totally disagree. Plenty of sleep and when she woke in the middle of the night I was keen to get up and serve her. No begrudging my sleep. Feeding her every four hours. My wife and I decided that we would mix breast feeding and formula. Mom struggled in the beginning with the breast feeding. Nothing to do with production...but the pain. I didnt really understand what she was complaining about until I saw one day Hana pull her mouth of moms boob and all the skin came of her nipple. It looked raw. I then sympathied.  Thats pain soon passed. for any lady reading this without knowledge...stick at it. Its painful but stick at it...2 weeks is all it takes and then you will experience no pain what so ever. Its also like a switch. My wife Laura has always said breaking that pain barrier was the most rewarding thing she has done. Hana was then fed exactly as we had planned. I took every night shift as long as mummy took the morning shifts. I hate mornings. Love the middle of the nights.

Hana started growing fast. By month 2 we had found some sort of rythym and a little structure but definitely mum was a lot more tense about things than I. I took a rather casual approach as I felt Hana would feed of our emotion. Mum found Hana crying and still to this day finds Hana crying to be unbearable. It affects her deeply. I always took control when these situations appeared as the result would otherwise be Laura and Hana very stressed out. Everything just made sense to me. I ended up feeling like I really could do this staying at home thing. It was very empowering and gave me purpose which I never really felt before.

By month 3 and 4 Hana was strong. Most of our worries or concerns about if we were doing right or wrong were gone. Although we were amased with ammount of opinions we heard from others "who knew best".  Laura and I said we were going to do things which fitted our lifestyle. We did NOT take much if any notice of what was in all these f....ing books. We had the books.... and referenced them if we ever got really stuck without an answer.... Mainly for food when Hana started to sprout teeth but that came later.  Generally by month four we were happy. Mum returned to work and I stayed at home as a full time father. Things were very good indeed. Somedays were harder than others, there is no denying, but generally it was because I little bundle was finding her capabilities and had started to crawl a little bit a roll.  The house needed pchild proofing that was for sure.

By month six Hana was using a walker. Things had changed a  lot. Hana was advancing ahead of schedule and we were very proud indeed.  I was taking her down to the beach most days and letting her walk with her walker freely along the seafront. Attacked by millions of woman when they see a six-seven month baby walking at the beach with daddy.  Cant complain about that! We were slightly worried about the distances she was walking and also the fact her feet pointed inwards (pigeon feet) while she walked. We spoke to our local doctor who said not to worry and right enough her feet straightened out bit by bit. With regards to the distance, as long as we wernt pushing her or forcing her to walk then she can walk as far as she liked. She was happy walking for about 2km then she would just sit and not continue. A long way for those little legs.

Anyway, to round this off before its too long winded.... Im a very happy stay at home dad. I went from scared silly to totally comfortable and confident being a proud parent.Is it hard work? No... not at all. Probably the only parent to say so but it's true. I worked harder on many things with far less reward. The difference is that every little bit of work with your child is rewarded so richly that you don't even know it was work. Sure, I get tired some days.... but each day tends to be a good one.

I will update my blog with many other incidents, worries, fun and general progress on my blog so check back soon.  If anyone wishes to speak with me or concerned or hae a question please email me. If it is regarding something which I do not know I will not even try to answer... and my best advice is do what you think is best. Do as you wish to do and dont listen to anyone else. You will naturally do the best for your child.